"You don’t test a gentle person the way that you don’t steep tea for too long. Submerge me and I will imbue, and what was sweet will be bitter. I will be strong on your tongue and unpleasant to the taste, and you’ll regret drowning me in your guile.

My gentleness is not for your taking."

I think that the toughest pill to swallow about recovering, is that I have come to find that it is a daily choice. Because the thoughts persist, but there is something inside of me that has opened to the bigger picture, the future. I spent so long down the rabbit hole, but the ice has begun to thaw, and the light has been getting in through the cracks. The thoughts still exist, but for the majority they’re fleeting. I can’t eat without feeling horrible about myself, but I push it away and keep moving forward. My skin aches to be split open, to feel that sharp intake of pain, but I sweat it out. I move forward. For so long I held so much inside, that the last few months have been explosive, emotionally. I’m so lucky to have the people in my life that I do. I’ve been trying so hard to be better. I’m finally going to college at the end of August. My relationship is solid and strong. I’m making the right doctors appointments, going to work everyday. I am doing everything that I am physically and mentally capable of doing. Despite how awful I feel sometimes, I am getting better. I am. I am. I am.

"I’m a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of things that make me sad. I’m lazy, yet I’m ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do. I crave attention, but reject it when it comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no way anyone else has."



pumpkin spice candles soon

pumpkin lattes soon

pumpkin everything


(via caffeineinducedcoma)

22 Jul 14 at 1 am

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Rainbow. Adrian Landon Brooks.
21 Jul 14 at 12 am


Joseba Eskubi - More selections from the ongoing series Insomnia and Hypnosia

(via mirroir)

20 Jul 14 at 3 am

Paul Jung
Melitta Baumeister AW, 2014

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Paul JungMelitta Baumeister AW, 2014